Sunshine Blogger Award

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I was nominated by the wonderful Misty from mistysbookspace for the Sunshine Blogger Award. Thank you so so much! I just want to say that I won’t be tagging anyone this time, since I’ve done an award post recently, but I really wanted to answer Misty’s quesstions, so here it is. 🙂 If someone wants to do the award, just say it and consider yourself nominated! The rules are as follows:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Answer 11 questions set by the person who nominated you.
  3. Nominate 11 bloggers to receive the award and write them 11 new questions to answer.

Now, let’s get to the questions!

1. What is your dream vacation location?

Oh, I love to travel, so anywhere I have never been before is great for me. Lately, I’ve really been wanting to visit Iceland. It seems so perfect!

2. When would you say you became a reader?

I think I’ve always been a reader. My parents read to me when I was a child and it all kind of started from that.

3. What was the last book series you completed?

The Mistborn series, by Brandon Sanderson. I’ve been getting into fantasy again this summer. I think summer is the perfect time to read those long books and series you’re a bit afraid to start when you know you won’t have as much time to read as you would want.

4. What advice would you give to newcomers to the blogging world?

I’m not sure I’m the right person to give advices to other bloggers… I’m not even sure what I’m doing here. XD I guess the most important thing is not to consider your blog as something you have to do. It’s supposed to be fun, and to makke you happy. Not stressed. So if you need a break – take a break. It’s not the same as giving up. You’ll always be welcome back. 😉

5. Do you have any unique talents? If so what are they?

You mean, besides being the most quiet and awkward person in the room? XD I’m not sure…

6. What character do you wish was a real person in your life?

Any vampire from the Vampire Chronicles. So that they can make me a vampire, too, and I could live forever. I need someone willing to do that, of course, or I could end up dead. So I’ll have to think a bit more carefully about this… Any suggestions? 😛

7. Aside from reading what are some of your other passions?

Lately, Instagram… XD But, seriously, I love to write. Just about anything, as you can see from my blog, as well as working on some longer works of fiction. Also, I’ve recently discovered I like doing yoga. I’m still a complete beginner, but I’m getting better. XD

8. What is your favorite genre?

I think I love the classics most, though I refuse to consider classics a genre (they belong to different genres). Maybe Gothic fiction, in all of it’s shapes and forms.

9. Who is your favorite author?

Just one? :O Mary Shelley, probably.

10. What is your least favorite genre?

I like to read different genres… I think anything can be done great. But I don’t really read  contemporary romances… As I said in an earlier post I don’t mind romance as a part of the book, but if it’s all the book is about, I probably won’t pick it up.

11. What fictional world do you wish you could be a part of?

Most books that take place in a fictional world have a pretty dangerous setting. That makes them interesting to read, but not so good to live in. XD So, I’ll have to go with the expected answer and say the magical world of Harry Potter. I’d definitely go to Hogwarts! 🙂

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Versatile Blogger Award

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Thank you so much Dear Kitty for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award! It really made me happy. 🙂

Befora I start, I just want to say that I’m sorry for being so inactive lately… I really like this blog and the lackk of time for it bothers me, but I’ve been quite busy and now I’ve even gotten sick. Anyway, the blog is still alive, and I will try to find more time for it. 😉 Now let me get back to this lovely award nomination!

The rules for the award are:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you
  2. Share the award on your blog
  3. Share seven random facts about yourself
  4. Tag 10 bloggers with less than 1000 followers and let them know they have been nominated

It’s really hard to talk about yourself, isn’t it? XD Anyway, here are some random faccts about me:

  1. My favourite season is Autumn. So, yes, it’s my time of the year right now! 😉
  2. I really, really, really want a pet. Once I get my own place, I’ll definitely get one. Life without animals is just so boring… 🐶 🐱
  3. I’m currently writing two novels.  Sometimes I’m inspired for one, and sometimes for the other, it’s quite crazy… My brain refuses to be organised when it comes to writing, though I’m actually quite organised when it comes to other things.
  4. I’m currently working as an apprentice teacher of Croatian language. In Croatia, we have a one year apprenticeship, then an exam, and only after that we become “real” teachers.
  5. I’m a Slytherin. – On every quiz ever. I took the Pottermore quiz twice and both times I got the same. I thought I would be a Hufflepuff, honestly. But now I’m kind of proud of being a Slytherin. 😉
  6. I have a poster of John William Waterhouse’s “The Lady of Shalott” in my room. I love the painting and the poem.
  7. I love to travel, and I collect postcards. Some I bought myself, on my travels, and some I got from my friends or family. 

Well, I hope thore were at least slightly interesting… I’m not sure who accepts awards and who doesn’t so, of course don’t feel like you need to do the post. Anyway, the people I tag are: Nicole,  Misty,  sinisterdarksoul,  Miguel Olmedo Morell,  Miracle,  Julia,  llady literary,  Anita, Katha,  bookwormhay,  WovenEclipse

Some thoughts on writing poetry…

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On 17th of May, 2015, I wrote my first post on this blog. Which means it’s now more than a year old! I didn’t write anything in celebration of this, but I though it’s a nice occasion to share some thoughts on something I didn’t think would be a part of this blog – poetry.

A few months ago, I posted my first attempt at writing poetry. It was more of an impulsive fit of inspiration than a real poem. I never thought I would post poetry on this blog, even after that first poem. I alyaws considered myself to be a prose writer, even though I did, occasionally, write poetry – or attempted to write it.

In my teenage years it was a vent for all the emotions that I kept inside, a way to say what I feel and what I’m going through, without actually writing a diary (which I tried several times but always got bored with it.) I liked writing this kind of personal poetry. And now, I really started to enjoy it once again, but maybe in a different way.

Now, when I write poetry, I often find myself writing from an imagined point of view, as if a fictional character is behind the written words. It does, of course, have bits of myself in it as well, and some of my poems express some of my thoughts and observations. But sometimes, it’s in a certain way similar to writing fiction. I feel the emotions of my characters, just as I feel the emotions of my lyrical subjects. Is that the influence of being more focused on writing fiction? I’m not sure. I guess I like imagining characters and their stories far too much. XD

In any case, I don’t know if my poems are any good, but I love writing them and I will definitely write more. Experimentation with all forms and topics was the idea behind this blog anyway, and I’m happy it has taken me this far. 🙂

Two Sentence Story: Crow

Eisla always walked with the crow on her shoulder, and they whispered to each other, like old friends.
Soon, people started to call the crow Eisla, and Eisla was nicknamed Crow.

Eisla always walked with the crow on her shoulder, and they whispered to each other, like old friends.
Soon, people started to call the crow Eisla, and Eisla was nicknamed Crow.


These sentences are actually from a novel I’m writing, and, for some reason I can’t really explain, I like them very, very much, so I thought they might stand on their own.

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Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

The Sunshine Blogger Award

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So,, I was nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award by the lovely Nicole at Sorry, I’m Booked. (See her post HERE.) Thank you, Nicole, I really like your questions, so I’ll start right away!

The Rules:

  • Answer the 11 questions from the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate some wonderful bloggers and write 11 questions for them to answer

Nicole’s Questions

1. If you had to pick one word to describe yourself, what would it be?
Confused. XD 

2. Do you like to travel? If so, what’s next on your list to visit?
Oh, I love to travel! If only I had the time and money to travel more! But I did visit quite a lot of interesting places so I won’t complain. I would definitely like to travel to Iceland. Or Amsterdam. 

3. Which do you prefer, hardback or paperback or digital books?
I prefer paperbacks. It surprises me that most people prefer hardbacks. I think paperback are more practical in every way, and I also think they are prettier.

4. What’s your favorite mythological creature?
Dragons! But, I love almost all of them. 

5. Regardless if it’s real or would be a financially stable job, what’s your dream job?
Writer. 🙂 I would also like to work in publishing.

6. What’s the last book you read that exceeded your expectations?
For most of the books I read recently, I had high expectations. But the one that I wans’t expecting to like was a Croatian book, a collection of short crime stories by Pavao Pavličić, which my students had to read, so I had to read it as well. I don’t really like crime stories, and I didn’t like the first one in the collection. But then, they got better and better, and in the end I really enjoyed the book.

7. Batman or Superman? Or neither?
Between the two, definitely Batman. I never cared much for Superman. But Spider-man is my all time favourite superhero, and I can’t wait to see the new one in Captain America: Civil War. By the way, I really didn’t like Batman v Superman. The only good thing about the film was the Wonder Woman theme. It’s really powerful! Here’s a link if you wish to hear it, and enjoy.

8. What Harry Potter character do you identify the most with?
Sometimes I like to identify with Hermione, other times it’s Luna. XD

9. DO you have a favorite sport you like to play and/or watch?
I’m not really an athletic person and my exercise is minimal. I like to watch football at times. (Soccer I mean, not the football you don’t play with your feet. European here! :P) But I don’t watch sports that often.

10. What’s your favorite color?
Black, though it’s not a colour. And the next in line is grey, also not a colour. I’m so colourless. XD

11. What’s your go-to question that you ask someone that you’re getting to know?
I’m terrible when it comes to meeting new people… I never know what to ask or say. 

My Questions:

1. What is your favourite non-fiction book?
2. Vampires, witches or fairies? Or something else?
3. What are some of your favourite bands or musicians?
4. Sunshine or moonlight?
5. Do you prefer first person or third person narrative?
6. Which is the last book, film or series that made you cry (or really sad). (Because I can’t get over something that happened in Black Sails XD)
7. What superpowers would you like to have?
8. Who are your favourite villains? (From books or tv.)
9. What is your idea of having a good time?
10. Share a quote you like.
11. Give me a book recommendation. 🙂

My Nominees: 

I nominate: Emma, Maremma Gee, Start Your Fiction, PaullyClaudia McGill,Metal and the GeekEric SchweitzThe Scrawlystdumbnerd

No obligations, of course. 🙂

Update + Teaching + Epic Awesomness Award

I didn’t have much time for blogging lately, and that’s because I started working. Bravo me! I’m an apprentice teacher in a school. This might sound confusing, but after finishing college, we have to work as apprentices for a year and then take a test to truly become teachers. College is apparently not enough. XD

Anyway, for now I mostly listen to my mentor teach and help her with some small things, but soon I’ll start giving my own lectures, grade tests etc. This would not be the first time I teach, since we had to do it in college, but there will be more of it, and with much more responsibility now. It feels a bit strange, I have to admit, especially since I feel more like a student than a teacher… (Even though my students are 11-15 years old.) The best thing is – I get payed, not much but for me it’s a lot – and that means that I will be able to buy ALL the books! Well, not all, but a lot. 😉

Now, for the real purpose of this post… I’ve been nominated for the Epic Awesomness Award by wonderful Aquileana (see her post HERE). You should all click on the link and visit her blog, especially if you’re interested in mythology! Once again, thank you, Aquileana, so much for the nomination. 🙂

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The rules are as follows:

1. You are awesome; tell us why.
2. You are my friend; tell us about other (blogger) friends.
3. Be creative, but it’s ok if you are having trouble with this one.
4. There are no direct questions to answer; let yourself run wild!
5. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
6. Notify your nominees.

And here are my answers:

1. I’m awesome because I won the Epic Awesomess Award, duh! The title says it. 😛 But, honestly now, I don’t often think of myself as being awesome… And then, sometimes, when I manage to do something that really scared me or was very hard, I do feel awesome. I hope I’ll feel that way after my teaching exam… XD

2. In my personal life, I don’t have many friends, but those I have are very important to me. As for the bloggers, I’ve met some great and interesting people here. When I started my blog, I had no expectations, and now I’m so happy I did it. I love writing posts and reading everything that you wonderful, creative people write. 🙂

3. I pride myself in being creative, but when someone tells me to be creative, I go completely blank. XD That’s one of the reasons why prompts rarely work for me. I see it and can’t think of anything interesting about it. I guess I just have to wait for my brain to work in its own pace. Which can be in most inappropriate times sometimes, mostly when I’m trying to fall asleep. I guess we have all experienced that. XD

4. For this one, I’ll just write down some things which I find awesome.

The sound of thunder when I’m safe in bed.
Walking under a large umbrella in the mild rain.
When my tea is just the perfect temperature.
When a book captures me and takes me away from the real world.
Beautiful swords, bows and arrows.
The colour black, and a warm grey.
Soft fabric and cuddly plushies.
Watching a good film with someone you love, somewhere cozy.
Waking up and knowing I don’t have to get up soon.

And bubble wrap! XD

And now for the nominations: Shyla Fairfax-Owen

You are great bloggers and you are awesome, so I thought the award was fitting. 🙂

 

Hoping For Snow

“I really wish it snowed this winter.” That is a sentence I repeat every year. Why? Because it almost never snows in my town, so when it does everyone becomes a child and goes out to play. Everything stops. Yes, it’s hard for people to go to work, the roads get icy and the traffic barely works at all, and people start falling down like apples from a tree, but still, I selfishly hope for snow. And since December is here, and winter is on its way, I wanted to write a post about it. Because, why not?

I live in Split (yes, I know it sounds silly in English), in the coastal part of Croatia. Now, if you google Split, you’ll see something like this:

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Sea, sunshine, palm trees (which are not actually native but we have them here since forever and they have become our trademark), and no hope for a snowy day. However, a few years ago we did get a lot of snow (at least for us it was a lot). And for me, it was amazing! Please, don’t think I’m complaining about the sunshine and warmth, but sometimes you just want something you don’t usually have. For me, snow is exciting. And pretty. This is how a park in my neighbourhood looked like (notice the palm trees again):

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And the centre of the city:

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Palm tree: “What, in the name of the tropical gods, is this?”

So, yes, we are never prepared for snow, but that’s what’s so nice about it. This post is a bit unusual for this blog, I guess, but I really wanted to post something “wintery”. Hope you’ll have a nice winter, even if you don’t like the season at all. In that case, well, after winter always comes spring. 🙂

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“Aren’t we cute like this?” 🙂

The Liebster Award

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I’m been nominated for the Liebster Award by Shyla Fairfax-Owen from Beyond the Threshold. Thank you and I’m so sorry it took me this long to write this post. (See her post HERE) Honestly, I get quite nervous when I have to tag people, because I don’t want to leave out anyone I really want to tag and I also don’t want to bother the people who do not like this kind of thing. Anyway, I will tag some people this time. Also, I’d really like to say that  Beyond the Threshold is a blog with so many great stories and you should all check it out! So, let’s start!

The rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog.
  • Display the Liebester Award on your blog.
  • Share 11 random facts about yourself.
  • Answer 11 questions your nominator has asked.
  • Nominate up to 11 bloggers with less than 1000 followers.
  • Ask them 11 new questions or the same ones you were asked.
  • Let the bloggers you nominate know!
  • Copy the rules into your post.

11 Random Facts About Me

  1. I don’t believe in the cat-person dog-person distinction. – I love both cats and dogs and I don’t see why one should exclude the other. Love all the animals! 🙂
  2. I collect postcards. – I love to travel, but I also like it when other people travel and bring me postcards. Travelling is amazing and it makes you a richer person, and postcards make me remember that.
  3. I have a poster of John William Waterhouse’s “The Lady of Shalott” in my room. – I bought it when I was in London and it’s one of my most prized possesions. I love the painting and I love the poem by  Alfred, Lord Tennyson.
  4. I own a sword. – It’s not sharpened, though. XD It was a gift from my parents. I’m a self-proclaimed pacifist, but am weirdly obsessed with swords. Maybe because of all the fantasy stuff…
  5. I love Disney films. – I feel like I’ve mentioned this before, but never mind. Sometimes I just listen to the songs, especially the villain ones.
  6. I love Emilie Autumn. – Have you ever listened to her? Well, most people I talked to don’t like her, but I think she’s amazing. Especially the “Opheliac” album. Wonderful.
  7. I love gothic-inspired outfits. – And my favourite colour is black. XD
  8. I love plushies. – I still have quite a few in my room. Childish? Yes, but I’m not sorry for it. 😉
  9. I loooove chocolate. – Who doesn’t, right?
  10. I’m a Slytherin. – On every quiz ever. I took the Pottermore quiz twice and both times I got the same. I thought I would be a Hufflepuff, honestly. But I’m kind of proud for being a Slytherin. 😉
  11. I really don’t know what else to say, so I’ll just mention that I’m currently reading Grief is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter and I think it’s really good and unique.

Q & A

  1. How did you come up with your blog concept? – Well, I just wanted to create a place to talk about books and post some of my stories, and it started from there.
  2. What inspires you to keep blogging? – The books I read. And when it comes to stories, anything can spark my imagination. Something happens, and the idea just comes. I can’t explain it any better.
  3. What are you currently reading (or most recently read)? – I’ve just finished Evelina by Fanny Bourney, it was more fun than I thought it would be. And I already said what I’m reading now.
  4. What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read? – I’ve read some scary books, but the most disturbing one for me was American Psycho. I loved it, and I though it was really well done, but it is quite disturbing.
  5. Are you a night owl or a morning bird? – I’m more of a night owl, since I hate getting up early, but I like late mornings.
  6. What in your life are you most proud of? – This is a really hard one… I don’t really know what to say. XD
  7. Who is your hero? – It may sound cheesy, but I’ll say my parents. They are great.
  8. Do you have a phobia? If so, what is it? – Not really, but I’m quite afraid of dark (I slept with lights on when I was a child) and public speech.
  9. If you were to write the story of you, what genre would it be and why? – I would personally like to be in a fantasy story, and meet dragons. Does that count?
  10. What is the best movie you’ve seen recently? – It wasn’t that recently, but I’ll say Birdman. I really liked that movie.
  11. What’s your biggest pet peeve? – When someone is just too irresponsible. In most cases, other people have to suffer for it.

My Nominees

So, here are the nominees:

Dara ReidyrMorgan MillsD. Wallace PeachEmmaRenKrystalFictionatrix and The Blonde Writer

Don’t feel like you have to do this, it’s fine if you don’t want to, but I wanted to nominate you so that you know you’re great. 🙂 And for the questions:

  1. If you could own a fictional/fairy tale/fantasy pet, what would it be? Why?
  2. Do you have any pets (real ones XD)?
  3. What are your favourite films?
  4. What’s the last book you’ve read and would you recomend it?
  5. If you could choose your theme song, which song would it be?
  6. People often ask about favourite characters, but I would like to know who your favourite villains are? (Either from books, films, tv…)
  7. What are some of your favourite names?
  8. What is your favourite time of the year?
  9. Coffee or tea?
  10. Moonlight or sunshine?
  11. Share a quote! (From anything you like.)

 

 

Blue and Red

Her days were blue
A colour not of sadness
But of naivety and calm.

His nature was red
The shade of passion
And hidden rage
Born from burning pain.

Together they were purple
A colour of magic
Illusion and trickery.

But blue can’t give to red
The peace of mind it needs
And red can never love blue.
Purple is inconsistent.

What they needed
Was a peaceful valley of green
Tranquil and warm.

But red kept the yellow to himself
All its golden glory
And the light it possessed
Because he had so little.

When red left
Her blue turned grey
Changed, colourless, but free.

Blue couldn’t find green
But grey did
And even with a touch of greyness
The green was green still.


*My little play on colour-mixing and colour symbolism. 

Evelyn

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I haven’t posted a new short story for a while, and that’s because I’ve been working on my novel. So, I thought I should share with you the first chapter. It may not be the best one, and it might eventually be changed a little bit, but I found it was the most suitable one to publish. Everybody, meet one of the main characters, Evelyn!


The window was open, but light draught barely entered the room. It was warm, even though the sun was approaching its descent under the horizon. Everything was quiet, except for the crickets, chirping somewhere in the distance. Evelyn was reading, cosy in the sofa on the side of the bed, enveloped by the long sleeves of her gown. A grey cat curled next to her feet and slept peacefully. She allowed the book pages to take her to distant worlds she could never know and to make her life interesting and full of surprises since, in reality, it was nothing like that. She connected with the characters easily, felt all of their emotions, lived through all of their adventures, worried when they faced adversities. Once she would start reading, it was hard for Evelyn to let go of her book and it hardly left her arms, but at the same time she hated reaching the final words and saying goodbye to what for a while felt like a real part of her life. That was why she liked to write. She wrote poems to bare her soul and stories to live through.

Not everyone could understand her unusual needs, and therefore nobody knew about them, except for her father. But he didn’t understand either. Evelyn’s mother did, while she was alive, before Evelyn was left alone with the strict manners of her father. Her mother knew what it meant not to be free.

The Baron of Ashire was not a bad man. He was just a man of his time. He frowned each time he saw Evelyn with a book, let alone an inked feather in her hands. He used to say that it would be better if she’d never learned to decipher the words from those accursed black symbols. Literacy was not on the list of his priorities. It angered him that Evelyn was not interested in the normal things. He felt embarrassed. In his own way, he wanted what was best for his daughter, which meant that he was determined to make her embody his clear vision of a proper lady. After all, that was what was expected of her – to fit in. The baron knew that society looked askance at deviations.

He was now mostly worried by her disregard of the very thought of marriage. Her youth would not last her much longer and her beauty would soon fade away. The baron was a respectable man, but he was not uncommonly wealthy. Evelyn’s beauty was what he put his hopes on. And now, to the baron’s great fortune, she was given an opportunity to shine and make something of herself. He would not allow anything to go wrong.

“Always with a book in your hands”, his deep voice was saturnine and strict, even though he wasn’t particularly disgruntled. He just wanted her to know how important today was.

“Father”, Evelyn raised from her sofa and instinctively adjusted her gown. Father wanted her to at all times look presentable.

She waited for the onslaught of remarks, but they remained unsaid, as if father thought he would make a better impression if he kept her in suspense. And maybe he wasn’t angry at all. When he wanted them to, his words were sharp glass debris, at times cutting her deeply, and sometimes just scraping her skin, but always hurting all the same. The silence suddenly became heavy and dense, and the droning noise made by crickets seemed much louder.

“You know you should be getting ready. We were invited to the royal ball! This is not some nonsense like your books! I even got you a dress”, the Baron of Ashire finally started with his deprecation.

“I’ll be ready father, there’s still enough time”, Evelyn said humbly, allowing her voice to take just a mildly brash note.

“Other girls would appreciate this honour…” mumbled the baron as he left his daughter’s room, showing thus his disappointment.

The room was now quiet again, and the chirping from the outside became unbearably loud, as if the crickets were sensing the approach of some kind of mysterious danger, and were now screaming their warnings in despair. Evelyn was gripped by a sense of unrest. She closed the window to muffle the horrible voices, with a swift but somewhat clumsy movement, as if she needed to defend herself. The window, however, could not save Evelyn from everything. She had to get ready for the ball if she didn’t want to suffer through another discussion with her father. His words always found a way to make her feel worthless, but it was a sentiment she was now used to. Inside of her, insurgency started to grow. Why can her father order her around whenever it pleases him? Why can’t she be the tailor of her own life? She hated posh balls and being surrounded by stately noblemen. At times, she was saddened by her deep loneliness, but she took comfort in the company of her cuddly cat, named Daisy. Father didn’t like the cat. He couldn’t understand the purpose of that creature in his home. Several times he tried to kick her out in the street, but Evelyn fought fiercely for Daisy to stay, until he finally gave up. What Evelyn didn’t realize was that her father’s attitude towards Daisy changed on the day her mother died. The baron knew he couldn’t comfort his daughter, but he tried at least not to hurt her even more. He never shared these thoughts with her.

Evelyn did not want to hurt her father either. She wondered whether she was the one who was wrong, the one with a problem. She could never fit the strict social frames, not even when she tried to, while everybody else did it with ease. When she thought about her life, she would always come to the conclusion that there was no reason for her to complain. She was born in a wealthy, respectable family which was the golden key that opened all doors. Many are less fortunate and have to make painful sacrifices only to survive. She was given all she needed, served on a silver platter. She resented being spoon-fed, but she couldn’t help it. Sometimes, she felt like she was being held under the water and slowly drowned, trying hard to fight for breath. It happened mostly when she was surrounded by a crowd of people. People never suited her and after some time and many acquaintances made, she knew it was no use trying. Yes, she certainly had a problem. And it wasn’t even caused by the fact that she was only ever surrounded by the nobility. She fit nowhere, as she found out on a walk with her parents which went all wrong.

Little Evelyn sometimes got so enthralled by the images which appeared in her head that she would forget to pay attention to the surrounding reality. It took her a long time to learn to keep her lack of attention under control. She would get involved in a flurry of strange thought, creating in her head a world of her own, filled with somewhat silly characters. They knew her secret desires and were always willing to talk about the book she was reading. Sometimes she told them she wanted to change the ending. Evelyn always found the endings particularly interesting since she never knew how to finish her own stories. She didn’t want to destroy the lives of the characters she’d created and loved dearly. Even the bad ones had a story to tell. But at the same time, she never liked when serious books ended like children’s tales. Evelyn felt like there are no truly happy endings in life. Even after the last page, life goes on. No one speaks of what comes next. What happens to the princess after she marries her prince? The rest of their lives won’t necessarily be happy. After all, the real end of everybody’s story is death, and death is such a horrible thing to write about. In the end, Evelyn’s stories were always left unfinished.

Since she was a child, Evelyn feared the future. For her, however, the future was not something unpredictable. She knew exactly what was expected of her, which seemed to her more horrible than vagueness. Her life would not be like one from a book. She would have to marry whomever her father found as an appropriate suitor. She would bear his children. He would not appreciate her unusual nature or her books. Her cat would die and he would not allow a new one. She would be lost in bleak monotony. Evelyn was aware that she could not avoid this future easily, but she was determined to hold tight to any possible straw of escape and do her best to at least postpone the inevitable.

Lost in such, or similar thoughts, young Evelyn lost her parents during the famous walk – or they lost her. She started to look around in panic, searching, but she couldn’t see them. Terrified, Evelyn looked at every face which passed her. Grey, bleak expressions made her even more scared. And then, there were the falsely smiling ones which resembled theatre masks. These were even more frightening.

Evelyn walked in an undetermined direction, just to keep moving and to create an illusion of getting towards someone or something that could help her. From the corner of her eye she noticed a pair of children. She wouldn’t normally turn to face them, but she was intrigued by their gleeful shouting. The girl was probably around Evelyn’s age, wearing a dingy brown dress which reached the ground in frowsy drapes. Her hair was down, disorderly but free. The boy was a bit younger than the girl, and even more covered in dust. They didn’t mind playing in the dirty street, trampled by countless shoes. They didn’t worry about their clothes or the almost black fingernails. And as unpresentable as they were, Evelyn found them beautiful in their freedom and childish disregard.

The girl noticed Evelyn staring and directed her piercing gaze at Evelyn’s eyes. Evelyn looked down, as if she hoped it would make her invisible.

“What are you looking at?” shouted the girl at Evelyn.

“Nothing… I’m just… Looking for someone”, Evelyn found it hard to articulate the words.

“You can’t play with us”, the boy said. “You are one of those in nice dresses. You can’t get dirty. My mom says those like you don’t ever play.”

Evelyn had to admit the boy was right. It seemed as if he felt a bit sorry for her, and even the girl didn’t look hostile anymore.

“Do you even know how to play?” the girl asked.

Evelyn did not know how to respond. She was scared. Those children were so different from her. As much as she wanted to talk to them, the words got stuck in her throat and she couldn’t speak. She looked at them in awe. They were elusive deities and she was just a weak little girl. In the end, she did the only thing she could to save herself. She ran.

Soon afterwards, she met her mother’s caring arms. Evelyn was safe, but quite sad. She knew she would never be able be herself around other people. She was born into a world of nobility in which the social norms determined how you should behave and what you should think. Maybe that was why she was so scared of those children. Maybe the social rules she so disliked suited her after all. Evelyn was trapped between the two worlds, not belonging to any of them.

Evelyn could hear the crickets through the closed window glass. She sighed deeply and closed her book.